Goodbye Planet Earth

by Matthew Ebel

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Goodbye Planet Earth is a rock-solid, complete work in 17 movements. Not just a mere collection of singles, Matthew’s fourth solo album is a journey that takes the listener on an outer-space adventure. The album is a noted departure from Matthew’s typical organic feel, combining highly electronic elements like synthesizers and loops with raw vocals, pianos, pennywhistles, and more. True to Matthew Ebel style, however, Goodbye Planet Earth contains songs that will make you laugh, sing along, or break out in goose bumps. Be warned, however, you may not be able to get most of the songs out of your head for weeks.


released November 1, 2007




Matthew Ebel Seattle, Washington

I call myself a piano rocker, but I’m really just kind of a goofball. I’ve been playing the piano since age 5, discovered electronic music at 12, and made this stuff my career in '99. Since then I’ve played the Grand Ole Opry, been quoted in Rolling Stone, and made a name for myself in new media. I’ve been playing piano rock full-time since 2007 and since then I’ve never looked back. ... more

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Track Name: Better Off Dead
So that’s that, there’s nothing left to say.
It’s all gone, it blew up in my face.
Maybe I could be a model of the human race
and take living as a prize for second place.

And all the things we left unsaid-
the straw men that we beat up instead
-they’re just flies buzzing in my head.
The world turned faster than this
young, dumb bastard could tell.
Hell, oh well, maybe we were
better off dead.

So nobody predicted we’d be gone.
‘Cause God told me your preacher got it wrong.
The market crashes, turns to ashes that you’re dancing on
while some fat lady cues up for a song.

You just don’t panic, so they said
in all the good books that I have read.
You just lay back and feed your head,
but that ain’t clever, that never got nothing to
sell, hell, oh well, maybe we were
better off dead.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: I Just Want to Fall in Love
Well I think that I shall never see a girl as lovely as a tree
but there I go again- I’ll sing about the trees until the cows come
home is where the heart is. But it’s not where I got started,
I stuck out my thumb and now I’m on the run,
a space pirate with an empty gun, but…

I just want to fall in love.
I just want to fall in love.
I just need someone to talk to
when the push comes to shove,
and I just want to fall in love.

Can you envision all the boots I been kissing,
trying to make a living and the time to go fishing,
but I’m wishing I could lift you up,
but baby I’m smashed down flat. And I don’t mind that
’cause I’m better off now than I was last week,
I got nothing in my pocket, no money to speak of,
nothing but a space ship to call my home.
I’m just glad I’m not alone, ’cause…

Maybe someday we’ll drive away,
but right now baby there’s hell to pay
the bills are piling up and I got nothing to say-
maybe it’s time we stowed away
on a cruise, we got a galaxy to peruse.
I’m done stewing, not chewing on another excuse
and I don’t want to stop, not until we make the news.
The world blew up, we got nothing to lose and…

I just want to fall in love.
I just want to fall in love.
I heard one word from you baby,
now I can’t get enough…

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Wordsworth
I heard a thousand blended notes
while in a grove I sat reclined
in that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did nature link
the human soul that through me ran
and much it grieved my heart to think
what man has made of man.

Through primrose tufts in that green bower
the periwinkle trailed its wreaths
and ’tis my faith that every flower
enjoys the air it breathes…

Music © Matthew Ebel Entertainment, Lyrics by William Wordsworth (Public Domain)
Track Name: Better Off Dead (Reprise)
So that’s that, there’s nothing left to say.
In 24 seconds we’ve all but been erased.
Maybe I could get a hug or get shitfaced,
or maybe I can take a trip through outer space.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Goodbye Planet Earth
I got a letter from a chick, said the sky it was falling
and sure enough I saw a crack in the morning sun.
They got the press corps and made sure the cameras were rolling.
Instead of swinging for the fence, they told me not to scare everyone.

So goodbye, planet Earth, would it be okay
if I got on my knees and I started to pray?
Goodbye planet Earth, I got nothing to say
except thanks for all the stuff in my brain.

We sent a man to the moon, but then we sent a baboon to the white house.
I guess we thought it was worth a shot, but who knew?
The astronaut got some rocks, took a shot, and got back into orbit,
but he was shocked when he saw all the politicians flinging poo.

…thanks for Kevin Reeves and the stage.

I started packing ’cause I saw the giant crack in the levy
and the words of the prophets were splattered all over the wall.
I wanted to fly ’round the world to see what I’d be missing,
but I can’t get on the plane ’cause my shampoo could kill us all.

…thanks for intellectual babes.

So long, I’ll miss you, goodbye,
you can’t tell me that I didn’t try.
When I leave you’ll see a tear in my eye,
you were the best planet that money could buy.

…thanks for all the friends that I made.

…thanks for all the fish and the rain.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Everybody Needs A Robot
Everybody needs a robot- something I have always said.
Everybody needs a friend who’s got shiny metal head.
Everybody needs a robot, even if you’ve found someone.
Now and then you need a friend with hormones made from Mobil 1.

They never need to do their hair
or change their metal underwear
and robots never seem to care
if you stay out ’till one.
They never seem to get depressed
unless they’re stressed, and frankly that’s less
common than a politician
shooting at a friend with someone’s gun.

Everybody needs a robot that will tell you you’re the best.
Even narcissists and rappers need to get things off their chest.
Everybody needs a robot, that’s a simple fact of life.
Ira Levin even found a way to make one for a wife.

They dance a funky robot way
caucasians try to imitate
but mostly just humiliate
themselves and all their friends.
They mop the floor inside your home
and call you on the telephone
when you’re alone to ask you if you’d
like to own a used Mercedes-Benz

Everybody needs a robot, robots never make you cry.
Human friends will wither, but your robot pal will never die.
Everybody needs a robot with some shiny little lights
so that you can see if there’s a robot watching you at night.

They shave our beards and wake us up,
they fill your empty coffee cup
and when you want them to shut up
just turn their volume down.
They scan your luggage and your school,
they take your cash when you refuel
and even clean your swimming pool
’cause if you held your breath that long you’d drown.
(Break it down…)


Everybody needs a robot on the dashboard of their car.
If you try to drive yourself you won’t be getting very far.
(Turn left now.)
Everybody needs a robot, artificial friends are neat.
Just like every robot needs a friend who’s mostly made of meat.

Some are tiny, some are pocket-sized,
and some are damn-near rocket-sized.
In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they were bigger still.
They make our cars, they heal our cuts,
they even save our fleshy butts
from other robots who’ve gone nuts and
come here from the future dressed to kill.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: A Cautionary Tail
Here’s a cautionary tale
about the king of all that was for sale
and some mice who were at war
like they’d been a thousand years before.

To a mouse the king called down,
“I can help you win your tiny crown”
Sell you swords, my price is fair.
You will rule the other mice, I swear.”

So the mouse went forth to fight,
but the king he got no sleep that night.
Or any other night for days,
tiny battles kept him wide awake.

The king went mad from lack of sleep.
He ran away and they boarded up his keep.
The mice consumed the empty home,
they partied on the mad king’s throne.

To the king a note was brought:
“Did you think it was with mice we fought?
Now that we know what maddens men,
We can make you lose your mind again.”

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Downtown
Sally was a silver-spoon Sunday School girl.
She grew up in the heart of an air-conditioned Wal*Mart world.
Her daddy had a mansion, a suburbian expansionist home,
but even country girls still want to roam ’cause

the bright lights of the city at night
will rain down like a curse on a small town.
The music’s swinging and bringing the pretty girls
so the fellas will get up and get out and get on the train
going downtown.

Sally couldn’t see a future past the end of her nose.
She set out for the stars with some pumps and a bag full of clothes.
She set her sights on the lights and the action of the shows,
but Sally never made it to the road.

He drives a Lex, but he’s looking for sex,
cheap whiskey and a bag full of happiness.
He’ll suck you in with a sinister grin, a
stick pin, and a spin that you’re gonna win if you
go downtown.


Your fishnets look a mess, but baby
you better sell or your daddy going to raise hell.
He gives you money, but honey your daddy don’t give a
damn unless you got a Johnny and you’re
going downtown.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Lost My Way
Well I woke up hung over again
and I vow right now it’s the last time I give in.
So to commemorate I’ll go out and tie one on.
Guess I’ll quit drinking when you’re gone.

If I put off ’till tomorrow
what I wanted yesterday
I’ll just sit here ’till the future
come and slap me in the face.
If I don’t change my direction
and I float out here in space
then you can’t say that I’ve
ever lost my way.

Well I finally gave up smoking too,
least I thought that’s what I told myself I’d do.
Then in a cloud of smoke my car moved to L.A.
and my girlfriend got towed away.


(Vocal Solo)

Well I’m tired of being a whipping boy
and I’m tired of being fortune’s favorite toy.
So when the sun comes up I’ll grab it with both hands.
Lord knows I need a change of plans.


Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Join The Conversation
Here we are, looks like we’re going nowhere
no one ever listens if you never seem to care.
It’s what they want, try to keep you in a box like a
disassembled toy, like a peasant in the stocks.
You always feel like the last one in line,
no one forwarded the memo, no one made you read the signs.
You want to scream, want to show you’re more than clever
If you never speak up, things will be like this forever

So get in line, speak your mind,
won’t you join the conversation?
Lay it down, make a sound,
you don’t need an invitation.
So get a pair and drive us there,
you can choose our destination.
Toe the line, get it signed,
you can join the conversation.

You come along like you’re told, like a member of the fold,
and then you finally end up being sold.
They try to tell you not to wander from the hive
You think you take a chance and they’ll devour you alive.
No one ever got ahead by staying hidden,
You know the fruit tasted better when it was forbidden.
Now you’re sitting on the ground. You know you’re star-bound
If you want to make it happen then you got to make a sound.



(Chorus x2)

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Everybody Needs a Ninja
Everybody needs a ninja- something I have always said
-’cause you never know when someone else might want to see you dead.
Everybody needs a ninja, ninjas know just when to strike.
Though they dress the same, I’d never say that they all look alike
(’cause that ain’t right).

They do ninja moves with ninja things,
watch ninja ball with ninja wings
and ninja beers that they can kill
one bottle at a time.
They strike from near or far away,
you’ll never know if you’re their prey.
They always make their getaway-
no ninja-prints or stars are left behind.

Everybody needs a ninja, maybe one or two at work,
so that you can use one when your boss is acting like a jerk.
Everybody needs a ninja, well that’s a simple fact of life.
They can kill with sheets of paper, they don’t need no stinking knife.

They live their lives so secretly
and ninjas kill so gracefully,
they leap from tree to tree like
Jackie Chan or Chow Yun-Fat.
They use their super ninja-power
to kill someone at any hour,
they could be hiding in your shower.
You never know just where they’re at.

Everybody needs a ninja, ninja podcasts are the best,
but they only let you listen if you pass a ninja test.
(Not like the rest.)
Everybody needs a ninja, it’s good to have one on your side.
Everybody loves a friend who would avenge them if they died.
(That’s ninja pride.)

The ninjas are your biggest fan
if you’re a member of their clan,
and if you’re not your plan had better
be to run like hell
’cause ninjas find you anywhere,
there might be ninjas in your hair
or hiding in your underwear.
They’re everywhere but nobody can tell.

Everybody needs a ninja. There’s one right behind me now.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: Every Color
I was colorblind and stranded
in monochrome debris.
I thought that all that I was handed
was all there was to see.
All I have is just this pencil,
this sorry stick of gray,
and I’ve been living in this stencil
but I’m breaking out today.

‘Cause I love every color, the crayon on the wall.
I love every color, the rainbow waterfall.
I love every color, the stained glass full of light.
I love every color, not just black and white.

A blank white page but it feels so right
to live outside the lines
and you give me a box of sunlight
with every shade and kind.
I’m overwhelmed and I’m unstable,
but I don’t really care.
The world starts spinning and now I’m able
to color everywhere.

(Chorus x2)

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: She Will Set You Free
Stop the movie, stop the presses it seems
we lost the leading lady when she slipped between the scenes.
You went off the script and tried to channel James Dean
while she went off the edge and made her getaway clean.

She could scream at you until her vocal folds sever
while you’d be diving headfirst into your next endeavor
and you never, ever thought that she’d move on to something better.
You could be president but now you lost the girl forever and…

She will set you free.
She will set you free.
She will set you free,
but you don’t see her anymore.

Sit a second, stop and think about your role.
You sold your soul short, now you’re stuck out in the cold.
You thought you fell in love but now you’re falling down a hole,
your total lack of social tact has taken its toll.

You learn about her everywhere but from the source-
of course she talks to you but your attention span’s short.
You’ll force her out the door before you ever change course,
now you ride into the sunset with no one but your horse and…

(Chorus x2)
…but you don’t hear her anymore.

Now it hits you in the face, you’re out of luck.
You were dwelling in denial, content to pass the buck
and now you’re stuck sucking six-packs and sleeping in your truck.
You say it sucks but still you act like you don’t give a damn.

Your Saturday night’s like a digital storm,
surfing for a reason just to get up in the morn-
viral vids of stupid kids and MP3’s of Korn,
a torrent of some tortured tits and tentacle porn.

Maybe all the walls that are caging you in
aren’t as thick as an idiot’s skin,
but you think you’re better off now than you ever have been-
racking up the credit cards and living in sin, but…

…but you don’t see her anymore
and you don’t hear her anymore
and you don’t speak to her anymore.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment
Track Name: I Will Wait For You
Seems I lost my my status quo.
I looked up one day, you were pulled away
now I ain’t got much to show.
Where you’ve gone to I don’t know,
But I can love you.

And if you love me I can hold on tight,
and if you love me I won’t fall off this ride.
And if you love me I can go anywhere.

So I will wait for you I swear.
The night feels like it’s unending,
but I don’t care.
And I will wait for you I swear.
The sun’s coming up in the morning
and I’ll be there.

Every step just makes me tired.
Every answer brings more questions.
Though I try to feel inspired,
I can’t change the way I’m wired,
but I can love you.

And if you love me you can heal my scars.
and if you love me I’ll move to the stars.
And if you love me I can bend but I won’t tear.


When it’s done we’re not alone–
the door opens on its own
and we will come home.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment