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Everybody Needs a Ninja

from Goodbye Planet Earth by Matthew Ebel

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Quite possibly the most popular track from the album "Goodbye Planet Earth"


Everybody needs a ninja- something I have always said
-’cause you never know when someone else might want to see you dead.
Everybody needs a ninja, ninjas know just when to strike.
Though they dress the same, I’d never say that they all look alike
(’cause that ain’t right).

They do ninja moves with ninja things,
watch ninja ball with ninja wings
and ninja beers that they can kill
one bottle at a time.
They strike from near or far away,
you’ll never know if you’re their prey.
They always make their getaway-
no ninja-prints or stars are left behind.

Everybody needs a ninja, maybe one or two at work,
so that you can use one when your boss is acting like a jerk.
Everybody needs a ninja, well that’s a simple fact of life.
They can kill with sheets of paper, they don’t need no stinking knife.

They live their lives so secretly
and ninjas kill so gracefully,
they leap from tree to tree like
Jackie Chan or Chow Yun-Fat.
They use their super ninja-power
to kill someone at any hour,
they could be hiding in your shower.
You never know just where they’re at.

Everybody needs a ninja, ninja podcasts are the best,
but they only let you listen if you pass a ninja test.
(Not like the rest.)
Everybody needs a ninja, it’s good to have one on your side.
Everybody loves a friend who would avenge them if they died.
(That’s ninja pride.)

The ninjas are your biggest fan
if you’re a member of their clan,
and if you’re not your plan had better
be to run like hell
’cause ninjas find you anywhere,
there might be ninjas in your hair
or hiding in your underwear.
They’re everywhere but nobody can tell.

Everybody needs a ninja. There’s one right behind me now.

Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment


from Goodbye Planet Earth, track released November 1, 2007




Matthew Ebel Seattle, Washington

I call myself a piano rocker, but I’m really just kind of a goofball. I’ve been playing the piano since age 5, discovered electronic music at 12, and made this stuff my career in '99. Since then I’ve played the Grand Ole Opry, been quoted in Rolling Stone, and made a name for myself in new media. I’ve been playing piano rock full-time since 2007 and since then I’ve never looked back. ... more

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