The High Orbit Holiday Special

by Matthew Ebel

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about

A complete outer-space adventure with the usual Christmas trimmings: Explosions, space sharks, talking robots, and jokes at the expense of George Lucas, Dr. Seuss, commercialism, and Bea Arthur.

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released December 1, 2009

Written, arranged, and produced by Matthew Ebel

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about

Matthew Ebel Boston, Massachusetts

I call myself a piano rocker, but I’m really just kind of a goofball. I’ve been playing the piano since age 5, discovered electronic music at 12, and made this stuff my career in '99. Since then I’ve played the Grand Ole Opry, been quoted in Rolling Stone, and made a name for myself in new media. I’ve been playing piano rock full-time since 2007 and since then I’ve never looked back. ... more

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Track Name: Away in a Manger
Away in a manger, no crib for His bed,
the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky look down where He lay-
the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,
but little Lord Jesus, no crying He makes.
I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
and stay by my cradle ’til morning is nigh.

I love you, Lord Jesus, I ask You to stay
close by me forever and love me I pray.
Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care
and take us to heaven to live with You there.

Away in a manger, no crib for His bed,
the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky look down where He lay-
the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay…
the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.
Track Name: The 12 Days of Christmas in Space
On the first day of Christmas my robot gave to me
a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the second day of Christmas my robot gave to me
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the third day of Christmas my captain gave to me
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the fourth day of Christmas my captain gave to me
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the fifth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
five golden rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the sixth day of Christmas my captain gave to me
six lousy fanfics
five golden rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the seventh day of Christmas my robot gave to me
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the eighth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the ninth day of Christmas my captain gave to me
nine needed upgrades
nine needed upgrades
nine needed upgrades
nine needed upgrades…
five gold-plated platinum rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the tenth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
tentacle insurance
nine needed upgrades
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum-dipped depleted uranium rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my captain gave to me
eleven sappers sapping
tentacle insurance
nine needed upgrades
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum-dipped depleted uranium rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
twelve plates of sushi
twelve plates of sushi
twelve plates of sushi
twelve plates of sushi…
eleven sappers sapping
tentacle insurance
nine needed upgrades
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum-dipped depleted uranium superconducting rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.
Track Name: Deck The Halls
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la la la la la
‘Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa la la la la la la la la
Troll the ancient yuletide carol
Fa la la la la la la la la

See the blazing Yule before us
Fa la la la la la la la la
Strike the harp and join the chorus
Fa la la la la la la la la
Follow me in merry measure
Fa la la la la la la la la
While I tell of yuletide treasure

Fast away the old year passes
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hail the new year lads and lasses
Fa la la la la la la la la
Sing we joyous all together
Fa la la la la la la la la
Heedless of the wind and weather
Fa la la la la la la la la

Fa la la la la la la la la
Track Name: Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh.
O’er the fields we go
laughing all the way.
Bells on bob-tails ring
making spirits bright,
what fun it is to ride and sing
a sleighing song tonight.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

A day or two ago
I thought I’d take a ride
and soon Ms. Fannie Bright
was seated by my side.
The horse was lean and lank,
misfortune seemed its lot.
We got into a drifted bank and we,
we got upsot.

Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh.
O’er the fields we go
laughing all the way.
Bells on bob-tails ring
making spirits bright,
what fun it is to ride and sing
a sleighing song tonight.
Track Name: Merry Christmas from Cell Block 2
We know that it’s that time of year when families come together
to sing and laugh and eat too much and gripe about the weather.
It’s Christmas, but I’m sad to say we’re in a situation;
we can’t come home until the end of our incarceration.

(Alien gibberish)

We’re far from family but still the locals treat us kindly.
The guards are cheerful even though they’re ordered to confine me.
The aliens across from us got nicked for snowball fighting,
they made us earwax candles to provide some festive lighting.

In this cozy prison cell, from all the inmates and my crew,
merry Christmas from cell block two.
Merry Christmas from cell block two.

Who stole baby Jesus from Oog’s nativity set, huh?

The mobsters down in cell block one sent us a pile of fishes
and someone swiped the warden’s credit card to buy us dishes.
We tried to start some caroling but no one dared to sing.
We asked what Santa Claus looked like but no one saw a thing.

Our Yule log was courtesy of Blarg who’s in for arson,
although he swears his crime’s impersonation of a parson.
Our neighbor’s from a distant world, he’s serving 10-20.
He gifted us a shiv to cut the cake ’cause he’s got plenty.

We know we won’t be here for long-
like everyone that’s in here, we did nothing wrong.
We hope that we’ll be out before it gets too late,
but in or out we plan to celebrate.

We made nog in our commode but no one wants to drink it.
(I guess we could’ve used the sink but no one thought to think it.)
We had a tree with ornaments and tinsel colored gold
but yesterday it disappeared, they say it made parole…

from this cozy prison cell, from all the inmates and my crew,
merry Christmas from cell block two.
Merry Christmastime from all of us to all of you…

Hey, #4255, keep it down in there!
(Sorry!)

…Merry Christmas from cell block two.
Track Name: Away in a Manger (Single)
Away in a manger, no crib for His bed,
the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky look down where He lay-
the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,
but little Lord Jesus, no crying He makes.
I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
and stay by my cradle ’til morning is nigh.

I love you, Lord Jesus, I ask You to stay
close by me forever and love me I pray.
Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care
and take us to heaven to live with You there.

Away in a manger, no crib for His bed,
the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky look down where He lay-
the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay…
the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.
Track Name: The 12 Days of Christmas in Space (Single)
On the first day of Christmas my robot gave to me
a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the second day of Christmas my robot gave to me
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the third day of Christmas my captain gave to me
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the fourth day of Christmas my captain gave to me
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the fifth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
five golden rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the sixth day of Christmas my captain gave to me
six lousy fanfics
five golden rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the seventh day of Christmas my robot gave to me
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the eighth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the ninth day of Christmas my captain gave to me
nine needed upgrades
nine needed upgrades
nine needed upgrades
nine needed upgrades…
five gold-plated platinum rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the tenth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
tentacle insurance
nine needed upgrades
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum-dipped depleted uranium rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my captain gave to me
eleven sappers sapping
tentacle insurance
nine needed upgrades
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum-dipped depleted uranium rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my robot gave to me
twelve plates of sushi
twelve plates of sushi
twelve plates of sushi
twelve plates of sushi…
eleven sappers sapping
tentacle insurance
nine needed upgrades
eight zombie groupies
seven cans of hairspray
six lousy fanfics
five gold-plated platinum-dipped depleted uranium superconducting rings
four falling stars
three cans of oil
two rocket boots
and a ship full of AOL CD’s.
Track Name: Deck The Halls (Single)
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la la la la la
‘Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa la la la la la la la la
Troll the ancient yuletide carol
Fa la la la la la la la la

See the blazing Yule before us
Fa la la la la la la la la
Strike the harp and join the chorus
Fa la la la la la la la la
Follow me in merry measure
Fa la la la la la la la la
While I tell of yuletide treasure

Fast away the old year passes
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hail the new year lads and lasses
Fa la la la la la la la la
Sing we joyous all together
Fa la la la la la la la la
Heedless of the wind and weather
Fa la la la la la la la la

Fa la la la la la la la la
Track Name: Jingle Bells (Single)
Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh.
O’er the fields we go
laughing all the way.
Bells on bob-tails ring
making spirits bright,
what fun it is to ride and sing
a sleighing song tonight.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

A day or two ago
I thought I’d take a ride
and soon Ms. Fannie Bright
was seated by my side.
The horse was lean and lank,
misfortune seemed its lot.
We got into a drifted bank and we,
we got upsot.

Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh.
O’er the fields we go
laughing all the way.
Bells on bob-tails ring
making spirits bright,
what fun it is to ride and sing
a sleighing song tonight.
Track Name: Merry Christmas from Cell Block 2 (Single)
We know that it’s that time of year when families come together
to sing and laugh and eat too much and gripe about the weather.
It’s Christmas, but I’m sad to say we’re in a situation;
we can’t come home until the end of our incarceration.

(Alien gibberish)

We’re far from family but still the locals treat us kindly.
The guards are cheerful even though they’re ordered to confine me.
The aliens across from us got nicked for snowball fighting,
they made us earwax candles to provide some festive lighting.

In this cozy prison cell, from all the inmates and my crew,
merry Christmas from cell block two.
Merry Christmas from cell block two.

Who stole baby Jesus from Oog’s nativity set, huh?

The mobsters down in cell block one sent us a pile of fishes
and someone swiped the warden’s credit card to buy us dishes.
We tried to start some caroling but no one dared to sing.
We asked what Santa Claus looked like but no one saw a thing.

Our Yule log was courtesy of Blarg who’s in for arson,
although he swears his crime’s impersonation of a parson.
Our neighbor’s from a distant world, he’s serving 10-20.
He gifted us a shiv to cut the cake ’cause he’s got plenty.

We know we won’t be here for long-
like everyone that’s in here, we did nothing wrong.
We hope that we’ll be out before it gets too late,
but in or out we plan to celebrate.

We made nog in our commode but no one wants to drink it.
(I guess we could’ve used the sink but no one thought to think it.)
We had a tree with ornaments and tinsel colored gold
but yesterday it disappeared, they say it made parole…

from this cozy prison cell, from all the inmates and my crew,
merry Christmas from cell block two.
Merry Christmastime from all of us to all of you…

Hey, #4255, keep it down in there!
(Sorry!)

…Merry Christmas from cell block two.