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This Band Does Not Suck

from Cognitive Dissonance by Matthew Ebel

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People of Earth:
Do not be alarmed.
We come in peace.
My name is Prodo-1
and I know what you are thinking:
You are upset,
you may even be frightened.
But I have seen the future
and I can assure you
with all sincerity and certainty
that this band does not suck

This band does not suck.

This band does not suck.

I know the urge to run away may be strong;
that when you first heard the drummer warming up,
you asked for the check.
You reached for the screen
to thumb this track down.
The din of some indie band
you've never heard of
is the last thing you want in your head tonight.
I understand.
Your mind is already taxed enough:
That hottie ten feet to your left
that you keep making eye contact with,
but you can't tell if they're together
or they're just friends.
These are the tasks that overclock your CPU tonight.
So what fresh hell is this noise
pouring from the stage into your ears
like sap: pervasive and indelible?
I assure you, this noise—
these auditory constructions
—are here to help preserve your sanity,
not to destroy it.
For this band does not suck.

This band does not suck.

This band does not suck.

You can feel yourself begin to relax.
Order another beer.
The seat grows more comfortable,
the floor spacious and inviting.
In this place,
in this moment,
A sanctuary within a sanctuary.
For beyond the auditory reach of
this music we humbly offer tonight,
your life may seem burdensome.
the wretched turmoil of the world
outside this venue
seems like a kindergarten
when compared with the cold, unfeeling eternity
of the black universe.
Remember this—
and take this to heart,
for there may be little else to console you with.
One truth shines through
the eternal darkness:

This band does not suck.

This band does not suck.

This band





from Cognitive Dissonance, released June 23, 2017
Feat. Prodo-1


all rights reserved



Matthew Ebel Seattle, Washington

I call myself a piano rocker, but I’m really just kind of a goofball. I’ve been playing the piano since age 5, discovered electronic music at 12, and made this stuff my career in '99. Since then I’ve played the Grand Ole Opry, been quoted in Rolling Stone, and made a name for myself in new media. I’ve been playing piano rock full-time since 2007 and since then I’ve never looked back. ... more

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